A friend recently gave me a notepad with the letters SUV in bold yellow letters on a bright red background. No, she wasn’t promoting sport utility vehicles; she was reminding me to Stop Unnecessary Volunteering. Ever since I stopped working full time, I have been frantic to find “meaningful” activity to fill my days. I’ve done a pretty good job of it too, if I do say so. There are tours at the Archives, volunteer work with MAO, countless hours doing bookkeeping for a friend who “needs me” and there’s always something to do at church.
All those years I worked, didn’t I yearn for days to call my own? Didn’t I say I wanted to read everything? Didn’t I want to organize photos and clean out my underwear drawer? Didn’t I dream of enjoying a quiet sunset or a lengthy conversation?
Why do I feel the need to justify my daily existence with the busyness of good deeds? If I do enough good works, will it be ok that I don’t bring home a paycheck? Is that what this is about? I feel I must be “doing something” for my life to have value? Please.
I want to learn to just be. I want to hear my own inner voice and I want to remember what it means to "Be still, and know that I am God..." (Psalm 46:10) If I’m still – if I learn to just be – will it mean that I have finally realized I’m not in control?
I want to remember to believe in grace…and to just be. I want to believe that I don’t have to prove my worth…and to be grateful for that. I’m working on it.
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Ah Linda. You are getting it. The importance of being still so you can really, really hear that "still small voice." The wonderful thing about grace is that we don't have to do anything to earn it. No paycheck is required. As you allow the need for busyness to subside some and let the quietness settle in your spirit, I think you will be amazed How God will tap your gift of service and lead you to discover additional gifts that will be used for good. Trust me, you will be find peace beyond anything you have known when you "let go" and allow Him the opportunity to speak to you in the stillness. What a journey we are on.
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